


aro angsts over carlisle (part 3,765,205)

by scudfrohmeyer



Series: volturi shitposting [2]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Aro cries over carlisle, M/M, Twilight Shitposting, and caius is a little bitch like always, jane almost shows empathy, marcus discovers his passion for interior design
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23342350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scudfrohmeyer/pseuds/scudfrohmeyer
Summary: first of all no one in the volturi is straight so jot that down.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Marcus/Feng Shui, One-Sided Aro/Carlisle Cullen
Series: volturi shitposting [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678750
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	aro angsts over carlisle (part 3,765,205)

The letter to Carlisle was returned to sender within the week, which was quite the blow to Aro’s already fragile ego. Because of this, he hadn’t left his quarters in five days. He’d curled up in his bed and sobbed his way through three boxes of tissues during just one viewing of  _ Bridget Jones’s Diary _ , all while business as usual was happening downstairs. Jane was dealing with something vaguely connected to the Cullens, so Aro wasn’t informed of it. He’d insist to go with her and confront the love of his life who never was from three-hundred-years-ago, which would only make things horrifically awkward for everyone involved.

Sometimes, Jane wanted to ask why Aro fell in love with the Cullen patriarch. She’d never seen him do anything more than totally ignore her boss or clearly tell him that he had never been, nor ever would be interested in him. It made her feel a bit sorry for him, but not enough to actually make her want to talk to him. Not yet, at least. He was still loudly sobbing at cheesy rom-coms and sipping from blood bags like they were juice boxes in a cocoon of blankets.

It was three weeks before anyone thought to check on him. In fact, it was Marcus’s idea. He stood at the large doors and looked over their thrones, unsure what was missing. When it was told to him, he’d feel so stupid for not noticing it. He held his fingers up to frame the scene before him, and while he knew that he wasn’t sitting in his normal seat, there was something wrong about the image in front of him.

Caius looks up from his phone, groaning loudly.

“That dumb bitch has been crying upstairs for nearly a month, don’t tell me you just noticed he was missing.”

Marcus shakes his head, looking to the brat in the throne opposite his. “No, I was going to start rearranging. It’s going to throw off the feng shui of the room if we take his throne out.”

Jane and Alec watch Marcus work out in his head how he’ll arrange the throne room now that it’s been decided that their boss is officially out of commission. If Aro has been locked up for three weeks without even trying to interact with the rest of his coven, so much as come out of hiding to make some snippy comment at any of them, he was officially on break.

One of their humans, a particularly pretty one, passes by Jane with a few more blood bags in hand for their boss. She slips behind her, following her up the steps and through the corridor to an old bedchamber refurbished with modern technology for those days when the Volturi weren’t needed for anything. Despite their solemn appearances they did enjoy catching up on  _ Love Island  _ in their spare time.

When the girl opens the door, she notices Jane and immediately drops the bags to the floor.

“Did I do something wrong?” She speaks in a thick Italian accent, and Jane simply stares at her, a gesture meaning ‘I’ll be nice this time, but the next time this happens you’re dead.’ The girl scampers back out the corridor, leaving Jane to pick up the bags.

Aro’s hair is wavy and mussed up round his head, his entire eyeball is red, and he’s fully cocooned himself in blankets and comforters. She throws the bags onto his bed, near where she presumes his feet are, and turns to look at what he’s watching.

“ _ My Best Friend’s Wedding  _ again? Quit acting like you could have stopped him from getting married if you’d just made a grand romantic gesture at their wedding!” She crosses her arms over her chest and keeps watching the movie. “They don’t even get together at the end! Just admit you got there too late and you didn’t have a chance with Carlisle.”

“If I’d told him in 1786 I would have stood a chance!” He sniffles, wiping his tears on his blankets. “Why doesn’t he like me, Jane?”

She pretends to think for a moment. While a little bit of her subconscious says that she could stand to dust a speck of sugar on what she’s about to say, she just can’t bring herself to do something nice for him even in this state.

“It could be all of the threats you’ve made towards Esme, incessant messages, invading his privacy, making any excuse to go visit him, and generally never calming the fuck down.” She raises one eyebrow, a rare expression for her.

Aro doesn’t know how to respond to that. He clicks the movie off and picks his Nokia 3310 Aqua Clear Edition out of his nest, checking for the first time in three minutes if he has any messages. He hopes that he can hold his phone out and show her one, ten, perhaps thousands of messages from Carlisle about how he’s sorry and desperately wants to right the wrongs he’s committed against Aro in the past, starting with asking him out on the first date he’ll have ever gone on in his life. 

He finds one text.

He lights up, he practically jumps out of his cocoon and squeals. “ _ I told you! _ He’s loved me this entire time, he just couldn’t admit it to himself, he didn’t want to break up his coven, finally he’ll admit how perfect we are f— _ oh. _ ”

When he actually reads the message, he finds that it’s not as reaffirming as he’d expected. He reads through it slowly, excruciatingly so, and rereads every little detail before he looks back up at Jane. She smirks slightly, and he returns to his cocoon.

“It’s an invitation to his wedding anniversary. 150, that’s not too serious.” He flops down on his side and whimpers, opening up the Snake app on his phone and promptly losing seven times in a row before he looks back up and finds Jane still hasn’t left.

“I’ll tell Marcus and Caius. They love a good party.” She turns around, but not before she hears Aro mutter something about how damned unfair it is that they got so serious so soon, that 200 years is a fine amount of time to wait on somebody if you’re immortal. Then, he opens Snake again and loses thirteen times in two minutes, prompting him to chuck his phone to the brick wall.

As expected, it shatters the brick, before it bounces back and hits Aro in the face. The sound of his very pathetic tears act as a muffled ambiance while Marcus moves thrones around and Caius livestreams it all, blocking everyone who insists that he looks anything like Brian May.

**Author's Note:**

> first of all no one in the volturi is straight so jot that down.


End file.
